I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I believe in your delicious
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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