Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
