stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
