They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
bring money and cleavage
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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