too bad you live with your parents still
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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