u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
