Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
