____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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