So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
