that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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