woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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