WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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