I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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