All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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