I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
