I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just saw a hot homeless man
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
