me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
