There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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