also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
