u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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