I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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