i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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