Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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