Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
