so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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