my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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