I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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