I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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