Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Pants are for mortals
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
