Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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