I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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