Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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