if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
