cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
