That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
