i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
