dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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