too bad you live with your parents still
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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