Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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