What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
