Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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