I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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