Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
