hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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