there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
