Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
