You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
