There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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