using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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