Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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