Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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